Cinderella, witch, mother, and rebel extraordinaire popped on by and handed me some parchments with her next blog post. Looks like she’s been dipping into the dreamline a bit to time travel to our era. Check out her latest secret (or, not so secret!) ruminations about life in the 21st century:

1. Who is this Donald J. Trump anyway? I tried to listen to all he says and it makes my head hurt. But I have the perfect solution to defeat him. It’s a great mixture of being just as crass as he without wearing a cause on one’s sleeve. #NeverTrump
2. Modern times never ceases to amaze me. Back in the 1800s, we would have loved having our food just come to us fully prepared. After the prince and I divorced, it would have saved me a lot of time when raising my daughter. How can I get this?
3. What is everyone’s fascination with selfies? Hasn’t everyone read Snow White or The Picture of Dorian Gray? Mirrors and pictures capture a person’s soul. I do not mess with that. #Superstition
4. Self lacing shoes? Yes, that’s amazing, but what about a self lacing corset? That’s what a girl really wants.
5. I had my heart broken (twice!). Now there are dating coaches and services, such a Dating Ring, to help you find your partner. I wish we had this back in my time! I cannot tell you how lucky modern women are. Paying for a professional matchmaker is well worth the money. #Jealous
6. Planes, trains, automobiles, oh my! Forget about horseback or walking. Now you can just use your phone and summon a car to come right to you. My fairy godmother could have saved a lot of trouble in turning a pumpkin to a carriage if she could have just used Uber.
7. When I lived at the castle, I did have maids to dress and put some light pearl powder on my face. I would love to go to the mall to buy some make-up and then watch a tutorial on how to best apply it. I know that looks aren’t everything, but truth to tell, I do like to dress up and be all pretty once in awhile.
8. In my time, women can’t vote. There’s been great strides since then, but women are still paid less than men (but now not only raise the children, but work too). When is this going to change? #NotCool
9. When my heart was broken the second time, he left me cold. I hurt and chased him around until we finally had our big blowout. But now? People are getting ghosted all the time. I feel for them, I truly do. Getting shut out like that sucks. There’s no nice way to say it. For you men out there, don’t be a Richard and break up with someone in person
10. And what I love the most about the future? Cute dogs! Lots of them.