I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart beating fast. A secret fear of being abandoned had taken hold of me. Over the years, the dream has taken on several different forms.

I’m in a classroom, and the teacher comes in and surprises us with a test. I feel unprepared and know no one around me. Or I’m back at an old job in retail. I’m behind the counter, and there’s a big sale taking place with dozens of customers waiting for me to ring up their purchases. But I don’t remember how to use the cash register, and people are counting on me. Or maybe I’m at a job, and the location of where I sit has been changed. Everyone is acting normal, but I can’t find where I’m supposed to sit. I’m stressed, worried, and afraid. I’m then told to go to human resources, and all becomes crystal clear to me. I’m being let go.

In each of those nightmares, I feel powerless. I’m in a pressured situation and am trying to work within a system but don’t have the right information to succeed.

How do I overcome it?

First, I admit that I’m struggling and going through a difficult time.

One of my biggest fears is that someone or something has power over me, and I’m trapped in some system that I can’t solve or break out.

To deal with this problem, after I admit that I’m going through a rough time, I ask myself: “Is it true?”

I might not have all the information available to me. The type of stress dreams that I have can also be triggered by life events. If you’re waiting for a result of a medical test, that situation can also trigger this fear.

If there’s a situation that you’re going through, but you can’t control the outcome, then I fall back on the Serenity Prayer. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

We all have limited time and energy.

If I spin my wheels trying to solve a problem that’s not solvable, then I’m at a dead-end and keep banging against a wall. I’ll never get out. I’ll stay trapped.

The tricky thing is understanding that being trapped is not always true.

I could choose not to take the test in the dream. Or I could walk out of the store with all the customers.

Whatever the situation, each of us has a choice. Yes, we don’t always have control in our lives. We can’t choose to get sick or for an accident to happen to us. But how we deal with that problem is critical to our well-being.

Six years ago, I tore my Achilles’ tendon and had a cast on for six weeks. I had to figure out how to get to work each day and navigate through the house when I couldn’t put any pressure on my left foot.

Was it true that I was in pain and had a long road of recovery ahead? Yes.

Could I change the situation on my own? No. Full recovery took me six months.

So what did I do?

I hung up a note on my monitor that said: “Be positive.”

I didn’t just forget about the pain and suffering I had to go through. But I found that facing adversity with a positive outlook helped me immensely rather than always thinking negatively. I learned a lot about myself during those six months. Being unable to do the most essential things was hard—as was asking for help more often.

I survived and then thrived.

If you feel trapped, you’re never alone.

Who can you go to for help?

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.