I have no way to go back in time and undo any of the mistakes I’ve made in my life. Because I grew up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional home, I took on behavior patterns that affected how I acted in relationships.

I found myself attached to people who I perceived as needing fixing and I’d try to “help them.”

Even writing that sentence makes me cringe.

But I didn’t know any better and acted like a fool. I never could help the people that I thought needed my help and eventually learned that I needed to take care of my own problems and let others handle theirs (in their own time).

I’ve had all sorts of friends and acquaintances over the years and have had to distance myself from some over the years. The tricky thing is when you have decided to make a change in your life but those around you haven’t. I’m remembering friends who just liked drinking and going out—all the time.

There’s nothing more frustrating to be working on the issues you had with a family member who abused alcohol and your friends just do the same. I have had to distance myself from certain friends over the years because I needed to carve boundaries and a safe space for myself.

Now I’m more selective in who I spend my time with and open up to.

If you have a friend that tries to nudge you to act or say things that you don’t really want to do or you’re the punching bag for, maybe it’s time to put some distance between the two of you.

I have had some friends that were extremely negative and liked to complain (though I must admit that I have done this myself at times). It’s okay to question who you spend your time with and why.

It’s also okay for you to be open to making new friends.

What’s really important is finding out what you want.

What do you want in a friend? And why?

To flip things a bit, I also think it’s important to reflect on my own behavior. As a friend, have I been open-minded and made time for people in my life? Am I an active listener and willing to help?

Keep in mind the importance of having a few close friends in your life and being a good friend.

Both sides of the coin are invaluable.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.