A few years back, I tried to move a big bookcase on my own. I needed to move it about a foot and thought that I could knock it out in a few minutes and be on my way.

I put my weight against the bookcase, struggled with it for a few minutes, and I succeeded.

However, later in the day, a dull backache from moving the bookcase flared up to be so painful that I could barely stand up straight.

It took me four days for me to feel better and the back pain to subside.

Looking back, it’s easy for me to admit that I should have asked for help. But I didn’t.

Why?

I grew up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional family. Sometimes I would get the help I needed when I asked for it, but other times, I didn’t. That might have been because of any number of things. I learned quickly that if I wanted something done, then I needed to do it myself.

I took on more work and made certain that I accomplished what I put my mind to. Too often, I have been let down by those who were supposed to take care of me. There’s no use crying over spilled milk, but I do believe it’s important to admit how I feel and then see where I am today.

When I ask for help, I feel weak. Sometimes I’m ashamed to ask for help because I feel stupid or inferior. My hangups might be swirling around in my head, trying to convince me to be quiet and just go about my own business.

I’m used to working on my own. I set a goal, I accomplish it and go on my way.

The challenge is when we’re up against a tough problem or task. We can’t do everything on our own.

When I wanted to start my gaming podcast back in the early 2000s, I came up with the idea but didn’t know where to start. I reached out to a podcast and asked for help.

What did he do? He put together some documentation to teach me what I needed to know and sent it to me to help.

Back in 2011, when I wanted to publish my first Cinderella’s Secret Diaries book, I had no clue how to create the ebook file. I knew HTML and some basic coding but didn’t know where to start. I did a Google search, found someone who wrote a blog on how to create an ebook, and emailed him for help.

What did he do? He responded to my questions and helped me out. Since then, I’ve referred other indie authors to him and recommended that they pick up his book.

Over the years, time and time again, people helped me when I asked.

So why do I have such a hard time asking for help?

I’m afraid.

When I overcome my fears, doors open to me, and good things happen that I couldn’t have predicted.

I’m a big believer in passing it forward. Help is a two-way street. Today I might need help, tomorrow I can help another.

If I stop and think about the cyclical nature of work and put the bigger picture into perspective, everyone needs help at some point in their lives. Maybe that’s professional guidance about your career, counseling to overcome a problem, technical help with a phone or computer, or a whole list of other things. The beauty of accepting help is that you can help others at any time.

Give and take. Take and give.

The next time you’re ready to push a heavy bookcase across the room and think you can do it alone, maybe it might be a good idea to stop and ask for help. Your back will thank you.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.