Have you ever wanted a better future, but when the opportunity comes you stress out on it? You spin and spin with the ideas running through your head and you don’t know what to do. If you stay where you are, you’re at least comfortable and have memorized the patterns of what will happen in your life. You’ve learned how to build space around the dysfunctional and have made a sort of home. Maybe it’s your job or your marriage or your relationship with your family.

It doesn’t matter. What is inside is a fear that you don’t want to shine a light on.

I feel this. I have struggled throughout my life with fear that I’m different and that I get stuck in a pattern of dysfunction that I’m used to. I’ve let partners, bosses, and family members treat me badly. I’ve let them take advantage of me by being a pushover. I’ve taken on more work and will solve the problem until no one else is standing.

When we let people step on us and keep taking advantage of us, we’re blocking our potential and our future.

To get thrown into the codependency of our families, we’re enmeshed, entangled and lost. Throw in drugs, alcohol, or other addictions, and it’s a mess that wrecks our lives.

We are in control of our lives.

We can set the path for our lives.

We can steer ourselves clear of the pain.

We can be free if we allow ourselves to take the next step.

But how to do that? What are we supposed to when your brain is spinning, and you’re worried, and the thoughts are racing around and around, and you don’t know where to go. You’re afraid if things fall. You’re afraid if you stay and so you’re caught in a trap and fell horrible.

When I feel that way, I stop. I write. I go take a walk. I meditate.

I slow down, take stock of how I feel, and I admit it. I let the feelings come and I embrace them and allow myself to feel messy, tired, exhausted, drained, hurt, angry, conflicted, confused, and lost. I accept how I feel and then I take the next step.

The step forward. I walk toward fear. I embrace myself and tell myself: “It’s okay. I’m here for you. I will never leave you. I will always be here for you and give you all the love you need.”

It’s the central secret that I missed my entire life. No one can solve the mess of my past except me. I can bring that tired child from within to the light. And hug him and then let go of the fear and the pain and confusion.

We are the masters of our own destinies and can take a step forward that will bring us to a world that we never could have imagined.

Make no mistake, this is hard work. I hear you when you say, “But how do I do this?” I’ve cried, screamed, and felt broken inside trying to find an answer.

Take a step forward toward the fear.

I know it might seem unimaginable.

When you make a choice toward what is healthy for you, then you can bear the hurt, embrace it, and heal.

If you need help, reach out for it.

You are not alone.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.