I recommend that you pick up Sonya Renee Taylor’s book The Body Is Not an Apology. Here’s a quote to think on: “I want to assure you: Radical self-love is not light years away. It is not away at all. It lives in you. It is your very essence.”

How much time have you struggled with trying to get someone to love you? When we look outward, we’re spending our energy needlessly. Yes, it’s great to feel loved and to have people in our lives. But all too often, as children who grew up in alcoholic and dysfunctional families, we crave love because we fear abandonment.

When we change the dynamic and become comfortable in our own skin and love ourselves for all of who we are, then the healing begins.

Today, let’s take time to be kind to ourselves and to focus on what we need to be happy. Hug yourself, look in the mirror and say, “I love you,” and focus on the positive steps you can take today and build on that for the days ahead.

I’ve used this analogy before: Our recovery is a marathon and not a sprint.

We don’t just look in the mirror once and say, “I love you” and suddenly all our problems are gone. That’s not realistic.

But through the combination of taking healthy steps over weeks and months, we find a new way forward.

It’s always difficult to hear that change is going to take time. I get that. I do.

Instead of looking at how long it’ll take, how about we focus on today?

What can you do today to give yourself the love you need?

Go to bed earlier? Take a walk? Listen to some music? Meditate? Schedule a visit with a therapist? Read through the 12 Steps of Adult Children of Alcoholics? We don’t have to change the world. We only need to love ourselves today and take the time to mend our wounds.