If you grew up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional family like me, thinking about the past might bring up a whole host of bad memories.

I remember feeling powerless as a child and not understanding all that was happening around me. I knew my father had left, and that money was tight so that we needed to move in with my mom’s parents, but I didn’t fully comprehend the shame and fear I had experienced.

I used my imagination to create a safe space where I could escape and grew up the best I could.

As a kid, I tried to imagine the future and wondered where I would be. What would I grow up to be? Where would I live? I struggled to envision a better day than the present.

Now that I’m an adult, I look back at my childhood and am happy that I had opportunities that my mom sacrificed for me.

I was the first one to go to college in my family, and I knew that education would help pull me out of my life and open doors to me in ways that I couldn’t truly understand as a kid. But I knew that I wanted a good job and a family.

Now that I’m an adult, when I struggle, I sometimes get caught up in the same loop I’d find myself in as a kid. I’ll worry about the future and the unknown. I catastrophize and blow a problem out of proportion.

I recently went on a long run and struggled to get up a long hill. I tuned out and just let my brain wander. Out of nowhere, a thought came to me: “One day a future you will look back on today and smile. He’ll know that you were going through a difficult time but that you made it through. You survived and thrived.”

As I chugged up the hill, I focused on breathing, and a new idea came to me. What if the future me could reach back out to me and offer me strength? (I am a writer, and I have written all sorts of fantasy and science fiction books.)

I liked that idea. The future me of tomorrow, as well as the future me of a year from now, two years from now, and on and on could reach back to me and help send me strength so that I could join them.

I smiled at the idea as wacky as it was, but I liked it. I felt comforted in knowing that the “me” of the future could help me today.

Yes, it’s a goofy idea, but it helped calm me.

Today is all we have. The present is where we can ground ourselves and find peace. If we focus too much on the past or the future, we might get lost in daydreaming. I’m all for some creative daydreaming but I also need to find solutions to face the problems that I have today.

For me, that means taking a hard look at my life. What I spend my time on, who I spend it with, and what I do.

Being healthy and balanced takes work and a clear commitment to making time to take of myself.

None of us will be at that future spot looking back at us today unless we do the work to get us to the future.

What choices can we make today that will help us tomorrow?

Meditation? Prayer? Exercise? Are you eating healthy? Are you sleeping, right? Are you spending time with people we love (and not just those who try to use or abuse us)?

For today, what choices will you make?

The good news is that we only need to take a few steps at a time each day. Small incremental changes over time can be the most effective ways to get us to that future.

As simple as it might sound, the phrase “one step at a time” does hold true.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.