Do you think that you don’t matter? Or maybe you think that you need to grow into a better person?

Having grown up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional family, meant that I struggled for a long time in finding my voice. I often felt like a fish out of water around other people.

The same sense of security and stability that others take for granted didn’t come easy for me.

Maybe you feel the same.

The purpose of these daily reflections isn’t for me to teach you how to “be a better person.”

Instead, I’m looking to shine a light on the innermost part of ourselves and to reveal that we are already a person of unbounded possibilities. What we need to do is unlearn all the criticism that we've learned from growing up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional family.

We need to learn to shed the shame, guilt, and misplaced (and often toxic) emotions we trudged through in growing up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional home.

The mental message that many of us carry with us is that something is wrong with us or that we’re not good enough.

When the truth is actually the opposite, we are worthy and beautiful individuals as we are.

The challenge is accepting and letting go of dysfunctional behaviors that we parroted or adopted as a means to survive.

For the longest time, I tried to rid myself of parts of me that I felt shame and thought that I could make myself whole by trying to excise those parts out of my personality. But that only caused me more harm and did not help.

The secret that I’ve found, as odd as it might sound, is to embrace and love the parts of ourselves that we’re most ashamed of. Self-affirmation and love are the soothing balms to guide you.

The next time that you feel shame, anxiety, or fear about yourself, take a moment to sit still, breathe deep, and close your eyes. Imagine that you are standing next to yourself as a child. Go close to that child and give them an unconditional hug. The mental model of shifting positivity inward helps to calm you.

I recommend therapy or Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings to assist you on your journey.

Unlearning dysfunctional behaviors and responses to stress take time and patience, but you are not broken.

Can you see that?

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.