As a kid, my grandfather often told me to become a doctor or a lawyer. He had the best intentions, but his worldview and mine never did match up. In college, I had an opportunity to study in Paris for three weeks as part of a summer abroad program. I needed $5000 dollars even after earning a $500 scholarship for my good grades.

When I went to my grandfather to ask him for help, I was hoping that he would lend me the money so that I could achieve my dream. I didn’t expect his response. He told me: “Why do you want to go to Paris? There’s everything you want to see here in Philadelphia.”

I was 19 years old, had a part-time job, and in debt from college loans. I desperately wanted to go to Paris to see the world and to learn a language.

But in my life, I had been told (and shown by example) to know my place, to put your head down and just do your job. Time after time I had fallen into the psychological term “learned helplessness.” No matter how hard I tried, I was trapped and helpless.

I don’t know why or how I decided not to give up, but after my grandfather refused to lend me the money, I went to my mother. She worked at a bank at the time, and I applied for a small loan, and she agreed to co-sign for me. I got the money, went on the trip, and doors opened for me in ways I had never known.

When I came back from France, I realized that I had the power to not only create my dreams but to achieve them. I volunteered at school, created new clubs, and had one of the most productive and fun years of my life during my junior year of college.

After Paris, I took on a different outlook on life. I realized that I had the power to change my life and to overcome the hardship of my childhood.

I didn’t give up. If I encountered failure, I embraced it and tried again, again, and again. If the plan didn’t work, I came at it from another angle and found what worked and what didn’t.

I chose to embrace life and see the opportunities available instead of allowing myself to feel trapped.

Instead of saying “no,” I embraced “yes.”

How?

I defined a goal and then went for it.

In your life today, how can you take a small step to turn your life around? What is one goal that you always wanted to achieve?

Write it down on a piece of paper, hang it up where you can see it, and then break the process of the goal into steps.

For example:

• Decide to go to France for a study abroad program.

• Ask family members for a loan or get a loan from the bank.

• Get a job (or a second one) to earn money.

• Learn what to pack. Buy a book and research.

• Find support from friends or family and surround yourself with positive thinkers.

• Study hard to learn the language.

• Go on the trip and have fun.

No matter what the goal is, you can achieve it.

The way to do that is a step at a time. When you fall, sit down and admit that what you’re doing is hard, hug yourself, then get up and move onward.

Learned helplessness is a prison for the mind.

Be free.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.