I lost track of how many days my family and I have been sheltering in my house due to the Coronavirus pandemic. I know it’s over 30 days, but life has been a blur with work, stress, more work, more stress, and trying to navigate dealing with anxiety and raising children in an uncertain world.

To keep my spirits up, I’ve added certain rituals to my normal routine. I write or exercise but I’ve added in daily meditation and then listening to self-help podcasts.

But I read a passage by Tony Robbins in his book “Awaken the Giant Within” that hit home for me: “As long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain.”

That’s a powerful quote.

As a child I grew up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional family, and I often had my happiness wired into the chaos on the home front. I felt a loss of control as my world circled around what happened to others. Instead of redirecting my happiness onto myself, I tied it to others.

Unfortunately, I carried that belief all through my life.

I used to laugh when people would say: “No one can make you feel anything.”

What I didn’t want to admit is that I had given up my happiness to others. If someone was sad, that I took it personally and wanted to help cheer them up. I fell into many codependent relationships and thought I was doing the right thing.

What I didn’t see is that I needed to take care of my own needs. Happiness, joy, calm—all of that fell within my own control. I realized (after a long time) that I was responsible for my own life.

Others could leave, be upset, or be sad, but that didn’t have to affect me.

It’s not that I didn’t care about people. It’s not that at all.

But I realized that I need to take care of myself first. And that my well-being is tied into what I make of it and not the maelstrom of life around me.

As you go about your day, are you listening to yourself and what you need? Or are you catering to the needs of others and what they want?

When you take time (each day) to build yourself up and have a solid foundation, you’ll be able to weather the storms of life.

Someone else’s bad day does not mean that your day will be bad.

We are responsible for how we feel. And only us.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.