I grew up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional family and my perceptions of reality became skewed. Over time, I dreamed big, but my dreams would be knocked down to size.

I wanted to be a novelist when I was a kid. And if I couldn’t be that, I wanted to be an astronomer. As I grew older, I spent time writing to escape the world around me. And one Christmas, my mom purchased me a small telescope. I cherished that tiny red telescope. I’d set it out on the roof of my grandfather’s car and stare up at the moon or at Jupiter.

I bought astronomy books and magazines and fell in love with the beauty of space. As a kid, I looked to the stars watching Carl Sagan’s Cosmos, and I stay glued to the PBS specials on the Voyager space probes.

And with the space shuttle a big part of the ‘80s, I thought that the world would quickly be like the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey.

I wrote my fantasy stories, did well in school, and dreamed of the stars. And I fell in love with science fiction films of the ‘80s. I lived and breathed my dreams.

But a funny thing happened.

My grandfather would shoot down my dreams. He thought I should become a doctor or a lawyer because those careers made a lot of money. I had great grades,, but I had no idea how to get into college or what major to take there.

I barely made it into college in time because I couldn’t afford it. I had applied to LaSalle University, was accepted, and had my classes all picked out, but I needed $1500 more to pay up my tuition. Since I didn’t have the money, I didn’t get there but went to another local college at the last minute.

Each time I dreamed and reached for my dreams, I’d be swatted down. Either I didn’t have enough money, or I was told that I wasn’t being sensible.

Over time I developed an imposter syndrome mentality. I had great grades but kept thinking that I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t believe in myself. I still struggle with feeling that I’m an imposter. I’ll write a book and publish it and then think that I’m never going to succeed as an author.

Have you ever felt this way?

Do you believe that you are just skating through life and that you don’t want someone to find out what a fraud you are (even though none of that is true).

If you grew up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional family like me, often you put other people’s needs in front of your own. Over time, you doubt yourself and your abilities.

I feel ashamed to admit these feelings, but I want you to see that you’re not alone.

The first step is admitting to how you feel. If you feel like an imposter, say it. The words will set you free.

Be sure to take time to go through how you feel and list out what you are good at and the things you need to work on. Separating fact from fiction will help ground you.

When you are going through your day and start to feel like a fraud, ask yourself if it’s true, and then focus on the positive in your life.

And lastly, say what you want out loud. Speak the truth that’s inside of you. Set the goal you want to achieve, imagine yourself completing it, and succeeding.

I think some of the hardest parts about overcoming an alcoholic/dysfunctional upbringing is learning to think a new way. If you do well at something, your first thought might be: “I’m an imposter” or “something bad is going to happen to me now.” We were conditioned to think a certain way because of the struggles we lived through.

My therapist used to tell me that we have these tapes that replay in our brain. We need to reprogram those tapes and discover new (and healthier) thoughts to help us overcome our past.

Today’s goal: If you feel like an imposter, admit to it. Set yourself free of the past.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.