Some people thrive on chaos and creating dysfunctional environments. If you grew up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family, you might have seen similar behavior. You might have thought one thing but situations did not turn out as you had thought.

Here’s an example: In your family, a husband is doing his best to be there for his mother since she’s living on her own. However, his mother uses passive-aggressive techniques to guilt her son to go visit her. The husband’s wife is patient and works with her husband, but when her mother-in-law to pushes things by pretending to be sick and needing her son to stay over, tension is created.

What should the wife do? And the husband needs to decide on whether he puts his family in the center of a power struggle between his mother and his wife.

Maybe you’ve been pulled into some sort of situation that’s similar. You’re being manipulated or thrown into chaos and your boundaries are being assaulted left and right.

Addiction can cause people to do all sorts of things. And if someone is deep in dysfunctional behavior, you might get pulled into that maelstrom.

One of the most powerful words in the English language is “no.” That’s hard to say when chaos is all around you.

If you are working to better your life, be aware that those people who act dysfunctional might try to pull you back into chaos. When the balance is changed, you might have to deal with the backlash from people wondering why you’re acting differently.

You might also have to deal directly with people who try to bait you into reacting or acting out.

Chaos.

To prepare yourself for such an attack, be ready to have your skills honed and ready to use. In my years, I’ve seen other alcoholics try to apply peer-pressure to get people who had stopped drinking to start up again. I’ve seen people say deeply hurtful things to set off their spouse to get them to erupt in anger—and then call them on their rage.

Be prepared and don’t be baited. When someone is hurting, they might lash out emotionally at you. Is this fair? No.

But having your network of friends, support, and disengagement skills are critical.

What works: Tell the person that you won’t engage with them. Remain dispassionate as possible and give yourself the distance and space to deal with your feelings.

When you are tired, hungry, or angry, these things are warning signs for you. Be ready to handle the chaos by not playing into that person’s game.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.