You are going to have days when you fail and struggle. When that happens, the question is: What are you going to do next? Will you give up or will you pick yourself up and trying again?

As you continue on your journey of self-healing, you will notice patterns in your life. For me, I know when I can handle different pressures and problems of life. But what’s hardest for me is to back off and give myself time to relax and rest.

I have struggled with being hyper responsible and I put in extra time and effort but neglect myself. The pattern is a familiar one to me. I work hard, push myself harder, and then will lose my temper over the stupidest of things because I’ve not taken care of myself.

I have been ashamed of admitting to my problem, but I now know that I believe it can be beneficial to you then to reflect and see your own behaviors. I am extremely hard on myself and I project that same level of expectations on others. As you can imagine, that can make me difficult to be around. Sure it’s great that I can push myself forward and get the work done, but at what cost?

That’s the struggle.

I’m having a difficult time today as I’m juggling multiple responsibilities and I feel guilty for not checking in on work (even though it’s my day off). That guilt is mixed with wanting to always go above and beyond, but if I’m honest with myself, it’s also because I think back at my childhood and became hyper responsible to find acceptance and love. That’s not easy for me to write.

But it’s the truth.

Setting a boundary to make time for yourself and focusing on self-care is critical.

The challenge is that the rest of the world might not want to accept your boundary.

When you struggle, what are you going to do to solve the problem?

Often there is a common behavior pattern that we fall back on as children of alcoholics. Unfortunately, the reactions that we used as children often aren’t helpful now that we are adults.

Learning new skills and acting in a healthier way takes effort, practice, and patience.

In my life, I find it critical to check in with how I’m feeling throughout the day. Am I pushing myself too hard? Did I get enough sleep? Am I eating right? Did I take a break from work and stretch my legs? Am I letting the kids push me around too much? The list goes on and on—if we let it.

I recommend a simple check-in with yourself several times a day.

What’s hard to see during intense times of stress is that if we make time to relax and focus on self-care, not only are we happier but we are healthier. When I push myself too hard, that struggle results in arguments, resentment, or insomnia.

I am not perfect and I am going to make mistakes. I am going to fail. So will you. We are human.

What’s most important is not that we struggle and fail, but how we handle those times of difficulty makes all the difference.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.