There are going to be times when you wake up and you might feel overwhelmed with a bunch of problems. The challenge during times like these is seeing outside what’s all around you.

We all go through rough times in life, but sometimes it feels like the world is against us. Months before my son’s birth, I lost my grandfather in January, grandmother in March, and father-in-law in May. Late that summer my son came into the world and the months prior to his birth hit my family hard.

All the joy that we had hoped to share with our loved ones turned into grief at losing so many family members in such a short amount of time. And once our son arrived, we had to learn quickly how to be parents.

I realized that there are things you study and prepare for in a book and then there’s what you do at 3 a.m. when your child is crying and won’t go back to sleep and you need to get to work in a few hours.

During stressful times in my life, I have fallen into only seeing the world with tunnel vision. I can’t see beyond the moment and find it difficult to hope.

For the first two years of our son’s life, he didn’t sleep through the night. What we learned is that he often had ear infections that would keep him up.

I look back on the six months prior to his birth and the two years after, and it’s all a blur. I did the best that I could but sleep deprivation affected me and I tried the best I could. Thankfully, my wife and I worked together to get sleep as best we could.

I remember feeling overwhelmed during this period and ill-equipped to know how best to be a good father. I didn’t have a positive role model in my life and I took everything I had learned in parenting books as well as the skills I learned at Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings to do the best I could.

I felt overwhelmed at times. I couldn’t see past the stress around me and often felt like I wasn’t doing a good enough of a job. I could only see what I allowed myself to see.

When I look back at those early years of being a parent, I now see how I struggled with taking on a new identity. Becoming a parent and growing up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional family is challenging. And in my life, I had to deal with grief from the loss of loved ones, financial struggles during that time, and learn how to take on my new role but still find a way to grow and be open in my marriage.

What helped me overcome the challenges in my life?

The foundation that I had built in my day-to-day is what helped me to thrive.

You are going to go through many challenging times in your life and you will feel overwhelmed.

The work you do today will be building the muscles you need for those difficult times in the future.

As a kid, I saw my father escape with drugs and alcohol. Although those stimulants helped him avoid problems for a little while, they didn’t solve any of his problems.

I knew enough that alcohol/drugs wouldn’t help me but so wouldn’t buying things, overeating, or having an affair (to name some things that people commonly do to escape their problems).

Instead of running from the challenges, I turned to more positive things:

• Took care of my body, mind, and spirit (ate right, tried to sleep as much as I could, and kept active).

• Relied heavily on friends and family for support.

• Followed the Twelve Steps and prayed.

I’m going through another difficult time in my life due to the coronavirus pandemic. My world has been turned upside down and I’m doing the best I can.

The challenge is that when in the middle of the crisis it can be extremely challenging to break out of having tunnel vision.

The good news is that there is hope and a path forward.

What small step can you take today to help yourself?

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