If you grew up in a dysfunctional family or are living in one now, you might be in a virtual prison but don’t even know it. Does your family build you up or try to belittle you?

Do you have infinite possibilities in front of you or are you being held back?

The psychological bonds among family members within an alcoholic/dysfunctional family are complex and can be damaging to your well-being.

I loved my family, but in growing up I told that I wouldn’t be able to succeed as an author. And I had members of my family that wanted me to be a doctor or a basketball player (because I was tall). They had my best interest at heart (or so they thought), but I didn’t receive the support and nurturing from key male family members.

The first step in finding freedom is to decide whether someone within your close circle is trying to control you or if it’s an indirect form of control. There are husbands that want their wives under their thumb. Or siblings who do not want to see their brother or sister succeed due to jealousy.

Such challenging relationships exist in many families.

Shame researcher Brené Brown recently took part in an Ask Me Anything on her podcast Unlocking Us. I recommend that you listen to both podcasts. However, in the second podcast she shares a story about how her mother used shame on Brené when raising her. Historically, previous generations would use shame to try to teach their children.

Those of us who are old enough can remember a picture of a boy in the corner of a classroom wearing a dunce cap. Such punishment, even from teachers, was more common 40-50 years ago.

The good news is that as a society we have moved away from using shame.

Now we need to embrace accountability and allow ourselves the option to live our dreams.

Step one is to see if anyone is trying to hold us back and then become free of that person’s control.

But one person we might not have expected to be holding us back is ourselves. Are we our own worst enemy? Do we lack the faith to achieve our goals?

Be honest with yourself. Are you holding yourself back from growing and embracing possibilities?

If so, what can you do to stop that?

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.