In the “other laundry list” on the Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous website, they list the following trait that many of us struggle is: “We act as if we are nothing like the dependent people who raised us.”

I have seen time and time again people who grew up in alcoholic/dysfunctional families grow older and put the past behind them and think that everything is all okay. We struggle as kids, grow up and promise that we’ll be better, and then go through life as though everything is fine.

Unfortunately, what tends to happen is that we then exhibit the same behavior that we grew up with in our own relationships. We may not drink but we might try to control others, wall ourselves off from hurt—so much so that we block ourselves from feeling true intimacy and love.

We can pretend that all is okay or we can embrace how we feel and do the work to heal ourselves.

The behaviors we experienced can be repeated by us. We don’t know how to deal with our feelings and create problems within our own families.

Have you ever lashed out in anger at someone you love? Or done the opposite and shut down and locked those who love us out in retaliation?

If you go about your life and think that everything is fine, I would ask you to consider the necessity of building a better life. The emotional and psychological trauma that we experienced in growing up hurt. We suffered and now, as adults, we have a choice. We can repeat the behaviors that we learned or we can get help.

Today is about recognizing the importance of admitting that we are open to change. When we take responsibility for who we are today, we open up new opportunities. Imagine being free and open to a new way of life.

We can take the first step today and invest in ourselves. Take a leap of faith and trust that you are worth loving. If your parents abandoned you emotionally or physically, you do not have to react against what happened to you in the past. With help, you can find a better way.

Imagine the freedom and release you will feel when you let go and take that first step. Sure, you might be scared, but you’ll be free.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.