I’ve heard all sorts of stories over the years, and it’s pretty much the same thing. A child of an alcoholic dreads going home for the holidays or taking in an alcoholic parent when they get older.

Time and time again, the person tries their best to move on with their life, but eventually gets sucked back into the drama, the dysfunction, and chaos. How do you interact with your alcoholic parent?

The options tend to be:

1. Run far, far away and cease all contact.

2. Due to various reasons, you limit your contact as best you can.

Option 1 is complicated. Depending on the alcoholic parent’s relationship with drinking (have they stopped, are they in recovery?), staying away might not be the best answer. For someone who is still an active drinker, then, yes, staying away might be best. Choosing this option may be extremely difficult, but necessary. The closure and apology that you wanted might never come to you. Working through your pain with a therapist and choosing a path such as Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous or AL-Anon are recommended.

With having limited contact, going to therapy and a support group are still recommended, but the chances of being hurt are much greater. It all depends on two things: Has your parent chosen to stop drinking and get help? And have you decided to put up a strong boundary between you and your parent?

You need to take care of yourself. That’s your #1 priority. Then you need to take care of your own family. You are not a martyr and do not have infinite patience. The relationship that you choose to build with your alcoholic parent is up to you.

Hard decisions might need to be made. Before you take an alcoholic parent into your home, is there another option? What will be best for your health and sanity? If you have children, what will their relationship be like with their alcoholic grandparent? What would be best for them?

Alcoholism affects generations. It affects the person, the child, and their future children.

Remaining silent, thinking you can handle it all without help is a trap. If you break your arm, you would go to the doctor to get help. Why not do the same for the effects of alcoholism?

We are living in challenging times and I can only speak for myself, but the stress is great. I am not ashamed to say that I’ve reached out for help. Maybe you can do the same?

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.