When you have been wronged and are hurting, you might have a strong desire for revenge. Taking revenge on someone feels good in the moment and makes you feel powerful. But I caution you against it.

We cannot be healed by fighting back and getting our revenge.

I grew up with a mixture of fear and hatred of my father for what he had done to my mom, brother, and me. And I carried my anger and hatred with me for many years. The temptation to get revenge was there.

But the path forward is much more complicated than that.

I knew that I always fought the shadow of my father’s memory. I tried so hard to use the flame of hatred to propel me forward, but what happened in the end is that I needed to grieve and to heal.

I cannot ask you to forgive what you suffered. You can only embrace forgiveness if you feel that it’s right for you to do. Forgiveness is more about yourself and not as much about the person you forgive. But what is critical is that you let go of the hate, anger, and a thirst for revenge.

Learning to let go and to focus on your own journey toward healing takes time and work.

When you let go of hate and choose not to react by trying to cause harm to those who harmed you, is a big step on the road to healing.

Enmeshment, codependency, and a lack of boundaries are typical problems we deal with as we learn to overcome our past.

Revenge will not serve you in the long run. Instead, you will be caught up in a circle of hate and destructive behavior.

If you want to be free of your past, then let go of the hate.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.