Blog
Read more about movies, writing books and self-improvement by fantasy/sci-fi author Ron Vitale.
I wish I had more time to read, but I need to divide my free time into many different mediums (TV, movies, reading, games, music and podcasts). When I do make time to read, I tend to stick to certain authors I know and am familiar with because I want to ensure that I'm enjoying what I'm reading. Here's an example: With Anne Rice's new Lestat novel coming out, I'll be picking that book up without a doubt. It's been a long time since I've read a Rice novel and I'm really looking forward to it.
I started writing Found: Cinderella's Secret Diaries (book 3) on my birthday back in January 2013. Over the next year, I would alternate days throughout the week and either run or write. Throughout 2013, I trained and ran for 2 marathons, Philadelphia's Broad Street Run (10 miler) and the ODDyssey half-marathon. That's a lot of running. During that time, I used my exercising to think and work out plot points for Found.
The holidays are upon us. With only days to go before Christmas and Kwanzaa (or Festivus for you Seinfeld geeks out there), there aren't many days left to do your shopping. At this point, it's too late to even do Amazon prime's free two-day shipping. But fear not, you still have plenty of time to purchase an a Kindle ebook and send it to the person via email. It's easy to do.
My 6th grade English teacher assigned our class a book report assignment and I remember fondly the book that I chose. I don’t remember my teacher’s name, but I remember the book. Our teacher said that we could pick any book we wanted to read and I thought I’d be smart and pick Tolkien’s The Hobbit because I had already read it. I zipped through the book and then learned from a friend that Tolkien had also written The Lord of the Rings trilogy. That was more than 32 years ago and I fell in love with Tolkien’s books, but, more importantly, I fell head over heels in love with reading.
by Ron Vitale
Twitter has once again proved how serendipity is wonderful and amazing. Last night I started scrolling through the people I'm following in #MYWANA (We Are Not Alone hashtag for writers) when I stumbled across a tweet from ischaffenburg about "The True Power of Letting Go." You see, that's always been difficult for me to do: Letting go. Without getting all pyscho-drama-ery, I like to think of it in a very simple way:
My father abused my mother and domestic violence existed in my home. He left my mom, brother and I when I was four years of age. In growing up, I've always struggled with fear of abandonment. And to compensate, I hold on for dear life. Why would I share this with the world? It's simple. I've struggled much of my life with this and know that by not talking, writing or expressing it I'm allowing those feelings to own me. And I don't want that. By admitting my weakness and sharing it, I become stronger.
Vulnerability is not an easy thing to accept, but, at some level, we all do. When I stumbled upon Brené Brown's TED talk last night, I wasn't quite sure what I would be watching. I sat back and had to stop it and play it again to watch with my wife. She and I have both been working hard on dealing with our internal demons and we both sat there hearing Brown say what we already know:
"We are the most in debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in American history."
Don't feel good about something? Eat a muffin, drink some beer or buy clothes, movie or a new iPad. That will make us feel good, right? We're doing anything as a people except be vulnerable, authentic and addressing our problems.
Think about it. Or, would you rather be numb? Brown's theory is pretty interesting. We number ourselves from feeling vulnerable and dealing with all that messiness but that not only allows us to cope with the bad feelings but also with the good ones. We cannot selectively numb emotion. It's the good feelings as well as the not so good ones that we block out.
Brown talks about two basic groups that she uncovered in her research on vulnerability:
And what I found pretty amazing is that the "difference between the two groups of people? It's only that people believe they are worthy of love and belonging. That's the only difference between the two groups. Our fear that we're not worthy of connection keeps us from it."
Pretty interesting. A long time ago I made a choice and that choice was to be me. For all that it's worth, I'm pretty damn happy with who I am. People who know me know what my faults are, my quirks, but at the end of the day, I'm willing to put myself on the line because I believe in myself and believe that the point (if there is one) for me to be here on this planet is to simply share my experiences to the world.
When I look in the mirror, I smile. Brown has a very simple message. One that I would like to share with you: "I am enough." The message is simplistic, seemingly too much so, but the devil's in the details. It's very easy for us to dismiss all this new age nonsense, or we could take a serious look at our lives and move forward to embrace vulnerability.
In my writing, I explore the uncomfortable parts of life. I might write about fantasy, witches, fairies and magic, but I also explore emotion--love, rejection, fear and shame. A long time ago back in college I took a class on dysfunctional families and I recall our teacher telling all of us to stand in the center of the room and to "act crazy." We all did that, but I chose to walk away and head toward the window. She stopped the group and asked me what I was doing and I simply said, "Getting away."
I have long known that I have the power to not repeat abuse, addiction and the self-destructive patterns that I was raised in. For me, it's sharing those stories, facing my fears and letting them go. I wrote my Masters thesis on this topic and I keep working at all of this because it's essential. It's my most important job. I do all of this so that not only can I become a better person but also so that the relationships I form with my kids, wife, extended family and friends can also be healthy and strong.
I'll end with asking: Are you enough? Who do you want to be? Will you be the whole hearted person who is courageous and puts your vulnerabilities out there for those who know you to see? Or, will you medicate yourself, number yourself with experiences and things to shield you from your emotions and your true potential? Is it that simple and black & white? I don't know. Why don't you look in the mirror and ask yourself the question? You might be amazed at what you discover.
by Ron Vitale
July 15 will be a bittersweet day for me as it marks the release of the last Harry Potter film. Being a fan from the first book, I look back and remember my girlfriend (now my wife), telling me about J. K. Rowling and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Philosopher’s Stone for you UK fans). I read the first book and couldn't wait to read the next.
Yet what has touched me so much about the Harry Potter series is not only the great storytelling and imagination clearly present in the books, but learning of J. K. Rowling’s struggle as a writer. When she was writing the first book, she had recently lost her mother to multiple sclerosis, was separated from her husband, struggling to be a single mom and clinically depressed. She has since admitted contemplating suicide at that time. Yet with all these challenges, she chose life and to write the Harry Potter series. She stuck to her craft and kept on trying even after the first book was rejected by 12 publishing houses. Today more than 450 million Harry Potter books have been sold around the globe. As a writer myself, she's given me hope.
Since 1997, I have read the Harry Potter books as a young man, as a husband, and read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when I became a father for the second time to my now 4 year-old daughter. Back in 2007 on the day of the release, I woke up early and rushed to the supermarket as my wife, son, 10 day-old daughter and I were headed to the beach later that morning. I had forgotten that the Amazon order would not arrive until after we left for our trip so I hoped to pick up a second copy of the book as a surprise for my wife. So at 6am, I walked into the grocery store and smiled seeing a stack of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows books on a table in the front of the store. I purchased one and rushed home to give it to my wife so that she could start reading it during our car ride.
When my turn came to read the book, I wondered: How would J. K. Rowling end the series? While reading, what touched me most is the scene in which Ron uses the sword of Gryffindor to destroy a Horcrux. With arm raised, Harry yells at him to stab the evil artifact, but instead Ron hears all his fears--how he's the least loved by his mother and how Hermione secretly wants to be with Harry. All his fears and doubts are poured out to him by the Horcrux, and in that moment of hesitation, Ron nearly falters. Yet when all seems most lost, he strikes with the sword, destroying the Horcux. How often have we feared that we're not good enough, that we cannot succeed and that we are weak and insignificant? Yet J. K. Rowling has Ron face his fears and overcome them.
The Harry Potter series is about Harry being the hero, the Chosen One, yet the message is deeper than that. Harry succeeds because of his friends. He needs them as much as they need him. Ron, Hermione and Harry form a perfect bond that enables them to work together with the rest of the wizard world to save the day. As much as Harry wants to carry his burden on his own, his friends remind him that he cannot do it alone.
So as I rushed through the last book, trying to get to the climactic battle between Voldemort and Harry, I wondered how would the series end? As cliché as it sounds, I wanted to see Harry live and get married as I hoped J. K. Rowling would take the opportunity to infuse hope into her readers, showing that evil can be defeated and happiness can be obtained. Now I will see those same scenes play out on the big screen and I cannot wait!
With all that J. K. Rowling has had to struggle through in her life, I'm glad to see her happy and her fans so loyal and supportive of her. And as for me, as I struggle and get up early to finish my latest novel, I think about J. K. Rowling and all that she’s been through and that gives me hope. Hope that if we believe in our dreams we can overcome the challenges and obstacles in our path. And hope that an imaginative story about a boy wizard and his friends has helped bring people together from all around the world.
It’s been an amazing adventure. Thank you, J. K. Rowling, for never giving up on your dream and sharing that with us. Thank you.
