As a kid, all that I really wanted was to feel secure. I wanted security in my home, having a safe family life, food, clothing, shelter, and love. I wanted not to be abandoned but to know that both my mother and father were there to take care of me.
But that wasn’t the case. My parents divorced when I was young, and I only saw my father a few times after that.
The stress and fear of knowing if we had enough money, where we were going to live, and what would happen to my brother and me weighed heavily on me.
As a child growing up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional home, all I wanted was that security. I wanted to be safe.
Now as an adult, I have that power to give security to myself. You have that power too.
For many years, I looked outward for security. I wanted to find safety in relationships and put my energy into others rather than myself. When I am stressed and dealing with anxiety, I want to feel secure.
I want to know that all is going to be okay.
As I write this, I’m living through the Coronavirus pandemic. The United States has just passed 9,000,000 cases of the virus and more than 232,000 Americans have died. Cases of the virus are rising in 41 states and yesterday my country had the most cases in one day. We’re breaking all records and people are scared.
Living through all this stress is causing so many people to struggle with fear, anxiety, and depression.
But we are not lost and haven’t been abandoned. We have each other. You have you. And I have me. Together, we have the ability to reach out across the miles through these words. I see you. I am also struggling and am afraid. I long for security and have found the secret. When I admit my fears, embrace them, and then walk through them, then I am free.
I can give myself the security I need and I will never abandon myself.
Today is the day that we find what helps us feel secure. A hug, talk with a therapist, write in our journal, join an Adult Children of Alcoholics Facebook group, or take part in an online meditation class. There are millions of others who are out there like us. We are not alone.
The first step is finding the security within and to embrace and own how we feel.
It is okay to feel anxious or scared or worried.
Once we embrace those feels, we can walk through them by being vulnerable and sharing who we are to the world.
Strength comes through admitting our weakness to those we can trust.
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.