I remember reading the twelfth step of Adult Children of Alcoholics:
“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
All in all, the step seems pretty straightforward enough. But over the years, I’ve taken a different approach in working this step.
What I’ve learned is that there will be people who are looking to listen to what you have to share, and there are others who aren’t.
I made the decision a long time ago to be mindful of other people’s opinions and where they are on their journey. It is not for me to force my ideas on anyone.
Sure, I have written four books about how to recover from growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family. But let me be clear: I am happy to share my experiences on what has worked for me over the years (and what hasn’t).
But just because Adult Children of Alcoholics’ tenets works for me doesn’t mean that they work for everyone.
I recommend that people try to read through the 12-steps and the laundry list. If they believe that neither resonates with them, then I’ve done my job. There are many paths to a similar outcome.
In growing up, I remember hearing family members talking about some extended family who “found God.” They shared stories of how wild those family members had been prior to them converting, and then they swung in the opposite direction (going from one extreme to another).
Each person can choose what they will in how to have a relationship with God (or not).
The same is true with what skills and paths people follow on their recovery.
I believe that it’s not helpful to try to force my beliefs onto another. I expect that some daily reflections will be beneficial to some, while others might not find them helpful. We’re all different people, and what works for me may not work for my neighbor.
As you go through your life and work on your own recovery, I ask that you be mindful of how you share what you’ve learned. There’s a difference between trying to carry the message on to others and attempting to force your ideas on another.
In the end, it makes all the difference.
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.