As I write this, it’s 15 days before Christmas. I’m part of an Adult Children of Alcoholics group, and all of us are struggling with the effects of the Coronavirus pandemic. Yesterday, 3,053 people died from the virus in the United States. While people are dealing with rising cases of the virus throughout the U.S., some are also dealing with their parents who are suffering from the effects of alcoholism.
You might love your parent who struggles with alcoholism, but you will not be able to get them to stop drinking. I’ve heard the heartbreaking stories of people losing a loved to alcohol. Stories where their loved one is dying in the hospital and people are sneaking them in alcohol, but their loved one still denies having a drinking problem.
The effects of alcoholism might be far away in your past, recent, or still is affecting your life today.
There is no simple and easy solution to how to deal with the pain of watching a loved one drink themselves to death.
The hurt, pain, sorrow, and grief can be overwhelming. The only definite thing you can do is to take care of yourself. You are responsible for your own well-being and for the safety of your own life and the lives of any young children.
I’ve written about the importance of boundaries with members of your family and those who would try to take advantage of you (either a friend, a loved one, or coworkers). The challenge is taking all that you have learned and applying those skills to your daily life.
Of course, none of what you learned will solve the problem of a loved one’s drinking, but you will be taking care of yourself.
The anger, resentment, and hurt that you feel will affect you. The sooner that you work on accepting how you are feeling and on dealing with your reaction to that, the better.
Events that I lived through as a kid affected me decades later. Through therapy, attending Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings, meditation, and reading self-help books, I’ve taken positive steps to help me deal with my problems.
If you are in the painful position of seeing a loved one be in denial, please, reach out for help. Organizations such as Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics can help you.