Let me put my cards on the table. There are days when I wake up and think, “Why am I doing all this? It’s not successful. I’m failing, and I’m not getting where I want to be.”
I’ve had this feeling of failure come upon me, and the easiest thing would be to give up.
I could stop trying to write books. Stop trying to create new works. Just stop trying.
But I want to share a story with you. After a failed relationship, I tried to meet someone new, and things didn’t work out. I kept meeting people, but either I liked the person and they didn’t like me, or they liked me, and I wasn’t really into them.
I tried to see if my friends knew anyone who they thought I might like, and that didn’t work (because my friends didn’t know anyone who was still single). I even tried a dating service once, and that didn’t work.
The more energy that I put into trying to meet someone, the worse things seemed to be.
Finally, I got to the point in which I remember thinking, “You know what, I give up. I’m just going to do my own thing, and if I meet someone, great. If not, well, there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m just going to be me and do my thing.”
About two weeks after that, I met my wife.
My daughter recently had a problem in which she wanted to do something, and all her friends canceled on her at the last minute. She had put a reservation at a local dance studio to film a video with her friends, and it all fell apart the night before. I met with my daughter and told her this story:
Twenty-five years ago, I had signed up for a poetry reading at a Borders book store. I asked all my friends to come to support me, but one by one, they dropped out. Not on purpose, but because it was during a weeknight and my friends had work, graduate school, and probably a few didn’t want to go.
I had to make a choice: Sit home or go on my own. I chose to go.
I don’t remember what poems I read that night, but I remember that all went well. After the poetry reading, a friend of mine was putting away the folding chairs, and I went up to help him. While he and I were talking, a young woman came up to him. She was also his friend. The three of us started chatting, and within 15 minutes, we had made plans to meet in the city on Valentine’s day as we were all going to be alone. I took a chance, said I’d go, and the rest is history. Our mutual friend dropped out on Valentine’s day, and I took a risk and went to meet the young woman. Twenty-five years later, she and I are now married and have two children.
I told my daughter this story and got teary-eyed. I asked her to consider that if she gave up and didn’t go onto the filming that she had planned that she might have a fantastic time. If I had decided not to go to the poetry reading, I wouldn’t have met my wife.
My daughter decided to go and had a good time. No, it wasn’t a world-shattering event, but I wanted to share with her an important lesson: Sometimes, everyone bails on us. If we still believe in our dream, then we need to go forward and be brave.
We don’t know how far along the path success is or meeting the love of our life or finding an amazing job. We can’t see it. It’s like we’re in the dark and have a candle. We can see a few steps in front of us, but that’s it.
When we have faith and keep moving toward our dream, that’s when the magic happens.
I wanted so much to meet someone, but I was trying too hard. I met my wife when I went out and took a risk by reading my poetry to a bunch of strangers. Yes, the story would be much more romantic to say that she heard my poetry and loved it. But that’s not the truth. She was on the first floor of the bookstore and didn’t come up until after the reading was over. But because I didn’t stay home and let my dream slip through my fingers, I found myself in the right place at the right time.
I made my own luck.
Each book that I write, each connection I make, each act of volunteering that I perform, or each day I try something new allows me to grow and be one step closer to my goal.
I know that sometimes things look bleak.
But I ask you to consider: If you give up on your dream, you might have done so within steps away from your goal.
I might never have commercial success as a fantasy/science fiction author, but I’ll never know that unless I keep trying. I write new books; I take training sessions on marketing. I network with fellow authors. I keep trying. Inch by inch. Day by day. I keep moving forward in life.
What about you?
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.