As a kid, life would happen to me, and I would get dragged along into whatever happened within my family. Divorces, family arguments, money problems, they all affected me, and I had no way to protect myself from any of those changes.
Today I had a chance to talk with my daughter and ask her how she was feeling about the Coronavirus pandemic. As I write this, my family and I are sheltering in place in our home still as per our governor’s orders.
I listened to her share her feelings, and she mentioned to me that she couldn’t control what was going to happen about the virus. It was beyond her control.
I agreed with her and talked so more as I beamed inside at her realizing at such a young age that there are things she can control and things she can’t.
She’s decided to focus on the parts of her life that she can control, and I’m pleased to hear that.
When I was her age, I stressed and worried about what was going to happen to me and eventually discovered that writing helped me to deal with such stress. I created imaginary worlds that I created and shared with family and friends. Writing stories became my way of handling what I could not control.
For today, what are you struggling with, and is it something that you can control? Is the energy and effort that you’re putting into things worth it? Or are you spinning your wheels and getting nowhere?
I’ve done that more than I like to admit. I’ve wasted time, energy, and money on things that if I had let them go, all would have worked out better in the long run.
But it’s not that easy sometimes, is it?
I grew up afraid that I would be abandoned. And as I grew up, I tried to control the world around me to make me feel "safe.”
Can you relate to that?
What would happen if you let go of the things that you cannot control? How much more time and energy would you have to act on things within your control?
Learning to let go and give up control takes time, practice, and trust. Trust in yourself is essential and key because if you don’t believe you can do it, then you won’t.
In the deepest and darkest moments of the worst problems that I lived through, letting go of what I could not control saved me time and time again.
In my current situation, I can’t control what’s going to happen with the Coronavirus pandemic. But I can listen to the advice to shelter at home, wash my hands, and practice social distancing. The energy that I have from fear and worry, I can use to enjoy time with my kids or work on my next fiction book.
How will you feel once you let go of what you can’t control? Are you worried that someone might not love you? Or that you will be forgotten? Or maybe that you will have to confront even deeper fears that you are not ready to face?
Take a moment to breathe in, hold the breath, exhale, and relax.
Write about how you feel, and if you have a therapist, talk to them.
Self-healing work takes practice and time.
Please, be easy on yourself.
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.