I continue to be in my time capsule as I am writing this at the end of week 3 of sheltering-at-home during the Coronavirus pandemic. I don’t know what you will think and feel about the word “Coronavirus” as I don’t know how damaging the pandemic will be to the world. I can only see the present, and it’s frightening as more than 51,000 people have died from the virus globally.
And as I go through my day and work, I’ve heard several mental health experts talk about how people are grieving the loss of the old world as we transition in the new.
I recommend listening to David Kessler and Brené Brown on Brown’s new podcast, Unlocking Us. It’s a bit surreal as I listen to Kessler talk about the stages of grief and am struggling with my current situation. I keep thinking: “This isn’t real. It’s all going to go back to normal.”
But that’s not true, and I’m struggling with denial as I don’t want to believe that our world has changed.
The reality is that our world is always changing, but normally this takes time to happen and not a matter of weeks.
When I was little, I saw other families and how happy they were—how my friends had both a mother and a father. I often felt broken and damaged because I didn’t grow up in an environment that had two loving parents. My upbringing was more complicated with a multi-generational Italian/Irish Catholic family.
It took me many years to come to terms with my loss and accepting a wide range of emotions. I felt sad, angry, apathy, denial, fear, and loneliness.
I don’t know if you’re a teenager or a centenarian, but I will say this: Allow yourself the freedom to feel and go through all of your emotions. Repression does not work.
Sure, you can think that you can lock away and throw the key away to your feelings, but our bodies don’t work like that. We need time to process our feelings and find healthy ways to resolve them. It’s not easy to survive an alcoholic/dysfunctional upbringing and then have a healthy relationship.
Our internal wires are crossed. If left untreated, our behavior patterns can mimic those of the person in your family who struggled with addiction. And that’s the great shame and guilt of adult children of alcoholics: one of our deepest secrets is that we’ll become that which we hate.
But you have a choice: You can allow yourself to feel the messy emotions and start the journey toward healing.
There is no medicine or a one-time magical cure to heal us. No, like life, we’re on a journey, and each day is a new beginning.
Acceptance and love are needed in abundance.
For today, what would happen if you allowed yourself just to feel all the emotions you have inside?
Would it be scary? Cathartic? Or would you even be afraid to try it?
That’s something to think about, isn’t it?
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.