Let’s do a visualization exercise together. I’d like you to take a moment to think of a difficult time you went through as a kid. Close your eyes, remember the scene as best you can, and then stop.
If remembering is too difficult for you, then please stop and take care of yourself.
Now, remember yourself as a kid, how you felt, and the difficulties you went through and imagine a new scene. Place yourself as an adult into the scene, go up, and the kid version of you a hug. Hold the child close against your chest and tell them that you love them and are there for them no matter what.
To help, here is a scene from my childhood. I’m sitting at the dinner table and my mom is putting the food on the table. My father comes into the kitchen, glances at what my mom has cooked, and says, “After I worked hard all day, this what you get me for dinner?”
She tries to calm him down, but it doesn’t work. Instead, he grabs the back of a chair and puts all his force into knocking the chair away from the table and it the wall.
Words are said and he storms out of the kitchen.
I am sitting there, about 5 years old, and I’m scared. Fear is surging through me and all I want to do is run. I want to run far away because I don’t like what I just saw and I’m afraid my father might come back still angry.
I’m going to take a moment to pause and close my eyes. I am now imagining the “me” of today walking into the room and kneeling next to “me” at the dinner table. I go up to me as a kid and offer to hug him. He accepts and I wrap him in a warm embrace.
“I love you,” I whisper in his ear and then carry him out of the room. “You do not need to be here. We will be safe together.”
He clings to me and together we walk out of the room together.
Using a visualization tool can be helpful to heal the wounds of the past. If you feel uncomfortable doing it or aren’t sure, talk with a counselor or therapist and see if together you think that this exercise will work for you.
Healing the wounds of the past takes time. Please, be easy on yourself.
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