I heard Oprah say the following: “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different, it's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.”

That’s an extremely powerful statement.

Do you still carry hatred and anger in your heart for what you suffered through from an alcoholic or dysfunctional upbringing?

If you can forgive the people who harmed you, the act of forgiveness is to help you heal. It’s a personal act of acceptance as you accept that you can’t change the past. I cannot tell you how much time I wasted on trying to relive the past. There’s no way for me to go back in time. Instead of perseverating on the past, I chose to forgive.

And that forgiveness is in accepting that what happened in the past took place and I can never change it. Instead, learning to let go and free myself from past trauma allows me to create a new life for myself in the present.

When we forgive someone, the act of forgiveness resets our present and allows us to make a mental and psychological break from the past.

I cannot go back in time to fix the things that my father did.

But I have forgiven him and have even learned more about who he was back then and what he struggled with after coming home from the Vietnam war. Was this hard to do? Yes, but it was necessary for me to move on. Being trapped in the past only hindered my growth.

I ask you to take time and reflect on whether there is anyone you want to forgive. Your act of forgiveness frees you on the past and does not give someone a free pass to hurt you again.

Oprah’s wise words are powerful because they lead to the key to overcoming a dysfunctional family. Acceptance and forgiveness.

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