Science has shown that hugging is good for you, but when was the last time you’ve given someone a hug? As we get older, adults tend to hug less and less. I wonder why that is.
When I look back on my life, I don’t remember when my father last hugged me. I grew up in an Italian family, and the women in my family always gave great hugs. Although my grandmother has passed on more than 17 years ago, I can close my eyes and still feel her hugs. My mother is also a good hugger.
A long time ago I remember the first few Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings that I attended. I had no idea what happened at meetings, and I kept quiet until I knew that I would feel safe there. An older man offered to be my sponsor, and I accepted.
We would talk after the meetings and I told him about how I felt about my father. At the end of my talks with my sponsor, he would come up and give me a big hug. As he did so, he explained that most men were afraid to show their feelings so they would barely give each other a hug and pound on each other’s back. He’d demonstrate and then switch back to a real hug. “Give a hug like you really mean it.” He shared that with me and then demonstrated.
Over the years that my kids were growing up, I’d give them big hugs. I wanted to show them that hugging was good and a positive thing. And even though my kids are older now, I will still offer to give them a hug. If they accept, I hug them like I mean it.
Is there someone in your life who you could hug today? If not, can you build a relationship with someone to build such trust and comfort with?
If you live alone and do not have someone in your life with whom you can hug, then give yourself a long and lasting hug. We are social animals and need connection.
In the time of the coronavirus pandemic, finding physical contact with another human being is not as easy as it once was. But if you are lucky enough to be living with others, give them a hug and let them know you care.
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