Over the last two days, I’ve had several circumstances all come together to teach me that I need to be mindful of how my brain works when faced with success. I’ve had Gay Hendricks’ The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level book on my nightstand for months, but haven’t had time to read it.
Over the years, I’ve found that my feelings of inadequacy rise to the surface when I achieve success. It’s as though all the old feelings of the past come back to me and I remember feeling so small and helpless as a little boy living in my home. There was violence, yelling, drinking, drugs, and I had no idea how to deal with the problems all around me.
I found a way to survive by being under the radar. I stayed out of everyone’s way and used my creativity to survive.
As an adult, I have noticed patterns in my life: When I achieve success, another problem creeps up in my life. Or I get into an argument with my partner.
In reading Hendricks’ book, I’ve learned that such problems are common and that it’s essential to unlearn and let go of our problems from the past. In order to be free and to accept our success, we need to allow ourselves the freedom to be successful.
If an unconscious part of us doesn’t believe that we deserve to succeed, then we will continually run into obstacles that will halt our growth. Self-sabotaging behavior will limit our growth and happiness.
If we do not address these problems, then we will continually suffer.
Acknowledging our feelings and addressing them is critical to building a path to the future.
For today, think about how you feel when you succeed. Do you believe you deserve to be happy?
That might seem like an odd question, but what’s critical here is that we might be blocking our own healing (either consciously or unconsciously).
The first step is to reflect and then we need to reprogram our brain by taking the negative thoughts (“I don’t deserve to be happy”) and replace them with self-acceptance and self-love (“I deserve to be happy.”).
Overtime we will replace the bad habit with self-sabotage with positive and healthy habits of building up our self-esteem and accepting happiness in our lives.
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.