My grandmother used to say to me, “Never say ‘goodbye,’ always say ‘so long.’” What she meant by that came more into focus with me as I grew older. Part superstitious, she feared that if you said ‘goodbye’ to someone that you might never see them again.

Because I felt abandoned by my father after my mom and he divorced, I have always had a difficult time in saying goodbye to people. When a romantic relationship ended, I’d feel crushed. No matter how bad the breakup, I didn’t want to see a person drift out of my life. I had enough loss, and I wanted people to stay—desperately so.