I don’t mean just take a moment to stop working on yourself. Sure, that’s important but I’m talking about a different use of the turn of phrase. By “Give yourself a break,” I mean: Stop being down on yourself and beating yourself up.
I am a harsh critic of myself.
If I make a mistake and do wrong to someone, I feel bad and guilty. But here’s the thing: I don’t have a time machine, and neither do you. There’s nothing I can do to go back and fix the things I’ve said and done in the past. It's impossible.
I’m always reminded of my mom. When I would do something as a kid, and I apologize, she would say to me, “I don’t want you to say ‘I’m sorry.’ Those words don’t mean anything to me. Your father used to say them to me all the time, and he would still do horrible things.”
Now say what you will about my mom’s tactics in trying to teach me a lesson. As an adult, I understand her more. She didn’t want me to use empty words and not change my behavior. She wanted me to be contrite and repeat the same behavior that got me in trouble as a kid.
I am not perfect, and I make all sorts of mistakes each day. I say and do the wrong things; I can be selfish, act in anger, and remain inert when acting would be best. I’m flawed, just like every other person.
For me, the lesson for me to learn is to strive to be a good person, and that starts with being good to myself.
Stop being down on myself.
Getting caught in a mind loop on worrying how I could have said something better yesterday or done something different five years ago, it’s wasted energy.
The most important thing is the here and now.
What can I do today that will be healthy for me?
What actions can I take to ensure that I am being balanced in my life and am treating myself well?
For today, how can I treat others with dignity and respect?
It’s easy for me to relive the past and get caught in a loop by worrying about what I should have done differently. Letting go of the past, owning up to my mistakes, and then forging a better path by my actions in the present will help heal me.
Give yourself a break.
Take some time to ease up on berating yourself. Seriously.
There are enough problems that we have in the world than to pile on by being our own worst enemy.
Flip the switch and give yourself comfort and love.
I look at it this way: In the middle of the night, when we wake up and are struggling with fear, anxiety, guilt, or depression, the simple thought that we are worth it can help. A simple thought of positivity and love to propel us toward a path of healing.
If you’re struggling, reach out. See a therapist. Talk with a trusted friend. Take a step forward that will help you.
I wish for you a day that you can be calm, at peace, and in love (with yourself).
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.