Overcoming fear is not easy. It could be fear of change, the unknown, or feeling stuck and not knowing where to go and how to escape and move forward.

When I was a kid, I tried hard to outrun my past. I was a good student, studied hard, and did everything I could to do the right thing. I didn’t do drugs or drink. I tried to be the best I could be.

I promised myself that I would not grow up to be like my father.

I would be different and lead a life filled with goodness and light.

Life is complicated, and as you grow older, you see the different paths in front of you, and you have choices.

One of the things that harmed me the most is that I tried so hard to cut out parts of my personality. By trying not to be like my father and rebel against that, I set myself up in a trap.

The behavior patterns and how I react to stressful environments are carved into me. The challenge is that instead of trying to get rid of who I am, that I need to embrace it. This might seem like the most twisted logic.

I think of it this way: When my kids were little, I learned that when they were upset, they would cry. If I overreacted and tried to calm them, that only reinforced their behavior. Instead, I would let them know that I loved them, was there for them, and remained a steady presence in their lives. They realized that they were going to be okay. A lightning storm might wake them up in the middle of the night, and I would hear them cry, so I would check in on them to show my love and support.

The same is true of the fear and angst within. By embracing that, owning it, and shining a light on our fears, they lessen. Hiding and trying to ignore our fears are not only self-sabotaging, but they can debilitate us.

If we support and love, the dark and as well as our light parts, we step on firm ground.

The foundation of what we built our lives on is made up of our habits, the people we choose to surround ourselves with, along with how we treat others and ourselves.

Instead of trying to hide from our fears, or worse stressing out about them all the time, it’s best to own up to them, shine a light on them, talk about them (to a therapist, loved one), and grow.

What happened to us may be horrible and filled with deep trauma, and getting through those moments takes time and patience.

The first step is to gather ourselves together and embrace the fear.

Yes, it might be scary and hard.

But step by step, we can do it. Together.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.