Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And Mark Twain once commented that “Comparison is the death of joy.” There is a lot to compare yourself to. All you need to do is turn on the TV, go on Facebook, or Instagram, or pick up a magazine.
Who is thinner than you, smarter, more together, richer, happier, sexier, and an all-about better person?
But when we compare ourselves to others, we’re making it easier to come up with excuses on why we’re not doing the work that we need to do for ourselves. The life we lead is ours. The problems we lived through are also ours.
We cannot find a path forward until we release ourselves from the traps set up in modern society.
Marketers want you to buy those diet plans, that new car, or a really nice pair of shoes. If you get what they’re selling, they’ll bring you happiness. Or if you follow the social media influencer, you too can be happy as a clam as you go about taking photos on a tropical island.
It’s all not true, but we allow ourselves to believe it.
Feeling resentment and anger at the loses we’ve suffered is a true and difficult set of emotions that is understandable to have after having grown up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family.
Yet wasting time comparing ourselves to others isn’t going to bring us the joy that we want. When we spend time comparing ourselves to others, the only thing that we’re going to receive from that is disappointment or a false sense of security.
My path is mine alone, as is your journey.
The problems that I have in my life are unique and different from yours. And we don’t truly know what someone is experiencing when the cameras and phones are put away. We’re only seeing the made up illusion of happiness that someone is portraying for us.
Our journey is long and can be twisted with many detours. Recovering from a dysfunctional family upbringing isn’t a check the boxes sort of thing. You don’t simply go to 10 therapy visits and you’re “magically cured.”
I think that’s the part of choosing a healthier path that’s frustrating. We want the quick and easy route. We might be tired and want a break.
And when we see others (at least how happy they appear to be), we want the same thing.
There are those who share their story in an honest and selfless way. But there are also others who crave attention and want you to keep your eyes on them.
Discerning who is healthy to follow and learn from is always up to you.
In the end, it’s up to you to decide what you want out of your life and what makes you happy.
Why are you looking at someone else’s life?
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.