As a kid, my grandfather often told me to become a doctor or a lawyer. He had the best intentions, but his worldview and mine never did match up. In college, I had an opportunity to study in Paris for three weeks as part of a summer abroad program. I needed $5000 dollars even after earning a $500 scholarship for my good grades.

When I went to my grandfather to ask him for help, I was hoping that he would lend me the money so that I could achieve my dream. I didn’t expect his response. He told me: “Why do you want to go to Paris? There’s everything you want to see here in Philadelphia.”

I was 19 years old, had a part-time job, and in debt from college loans. I desperately wanted to go to Paris to see the world and to learn a language.

But in my life, I had been told (and shown by example) to know my place, to put your head down and just do your job. Time after time I had fallen into the psychological term “learned helplessness.” No matter how hard I tried, I was trapped and helpless.

I don’t know why or how I decided not to give up, but after my grandfather refused to lend me the money, I went to my mother. She worked at a bank at the time, and I applied for a small loan, and she agreed to co-sign for me. I got the money, went on the trip, and doors opened for me in ways I had never known.

When I came back from France, I realized that I had the power to not only create my dreams but to achieve them. I volunteered at school, created new clubs, and had one of the most productive and fun years of my life during my junior year of college.

After Paris, I took on a different outlook on life. I realized that I had the power to change my life and to overcome the hardship of my childhood.

I didn’t give up. If I encountered failure, I embraced it and tried again, again, and again. If the plan didn’t work, I came at it from another angle and found what worked and what didn’t.

I chose to embrace life and see the opportunities available instead of allowing myself to feel trapped.

Instead of saying “no,” I embraced “yes.”

How?

I defined a goal and then went for it.

In your life today, how can you take a small step to turn your life around? What is one goal that you always wanted to achieve?

Write it down on a piece of paper, hang it up where you can see it, and then break the process of the goal into steps.

For example:

Decide to go to France for a study abroad program.
Ask family members for a loan or get a loan from the bank.
Get a job (or a second one) to earn money.
Learn what to pack. Buy a book and research.
Find support from friends or family and surround yourself with positive thinkers.
Study hard to learn the language.
Go on the trip and have fun.

No matter what the goal is, you can achieve it.

The way to do that is a step at a time. When you fall, sit down and admit that what you’re doing is hard, hug yourself, then get up and move onward.

Learned helplessness is a prison for the mind.

Be free.

Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.