Trust is a difficult thing to maintain if you grew up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family. When a loved one is on the road to recovery either from a physical addiction to alcohol or drug, they might have a relapse.
Earlier today I read the news that actor Dax Shepard has relapsed after 16 years of sobriety.
While on the road to healing from your traumatic past, lots of emotions will come to the service when you interact with family members. They might still be drinking or might suffer a relapse.
The one thing to keep in mind is that you cannot control, save, or solve the person’s addiction problem. You are not responsible for them. As much as you might want to help, it’s not your responsibility to “fix” or save them.
They need to choose to do their own recovery work at their own pace.
If someone you love has a relapse, the anger you feel might well up, but instead of being judgmental, asking how you can support the person would be best.
Blaming a person, yelling at them, and trying to take over their recovery will only hurt your long-term relationship with the person, but also weaken your own boundaries and pull you more into codependency and enmeshment with them.
The work that you can do is to better understand what the person is going through by reading more about the fear of relapse and listening.
If you are overwhelmed, take a break. Talk with a therapist, give yourself some distance so that you can process and explore your own feelings if someone you love has a relapse.
As listed in the American Addiction Centers website, 38% of Americans in 2017 battled an illicit drug use disorder.
Take time today to work through your feelings and be mindful of what you would do if someone you loved had a relapse.
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.