When I went to counseling for the first time, I was 21 years old and had a lot to learn. My counselor and I worked together on my self-esteem, and he helped me come to terms with what I had experience in growing up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional family.

One day he and I talked about self-worth, and he asked me to think about my life like this:

Who we are, at our very core, is constant.
What we do will ebb, flow, and change

I didn’t quite know how to take those words at first. Did that mean that I’d always feel broken from my childhood experiences?

No.

Each of us has an unlimited source of strength in our essential nature. It’s who we are when every label is stripped away. Yes, we might be a daughter, mother, wife, coworker, or friend, but when those words fall away, we are unique and powerful individuals.

The challenge is that we don’t often see (or believe) about ourselves.

Do we listen to incessant negative internal chatter all day?

How can we break out of that?

When my counselor and I talked about “who we are” as being constant, I went home and took two pictures of myself and framed them.

On the right-hand side of the frame, I had a picture of me in France, giving the peace sign with a big smile on my face. My energy, charisma, and joy beamed out of the picture. I glued that picture to a piece of paper and a bunch of loose circles that made a column with the words “What I do” at the top.

On the left-hand side of the frame, I put a picture of me as a kid. I smiled and waved at the camera. I drew a solid column and wrote “Who I am” at the top.

And at the very top of the frame, I wrote the title of Walt Whitman’s poem “One’s Self I Sing.”

I hung that picture in my bedroom and each morning, I’d look at it to remind me that what I do can change over time, but "who I am" remains constant.

Let’s reflect on that for a moment.

The good within you. The “you” underneath all the fear, worry, and problems is bursting with creativity, joy, and strength.

Can you see that?

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