I am still in quarantine due to the coronavirus pandemic, but now America is openly fighting in the streets. I had thought my family and I had adapted to our new way of life in a post-COVID-19 world. But I was wrong. I didn’t think that such violence would be in the streets of American cities.
I am disheartened and fearful.
My children have questions and I don’t have many answers for them. I don’t know how all the violence will end. I don’t know if Floyd George’s family will receive the justice that they so deserve.
All I know is that so many people are hurting right now. In my present (your past as you’ll read this long after I write it), many of us are struggling with so many competing stressors: the virus, violence on the streets, injustice, fear, lack of employment, poverty, and abuse.
It is easy to say Thomas Fuller’s famous quote: “It's always darkest before the dawn” but it’s another thing to believe it and to still work on doing good.
When you are alone and you feel afraid and tired, what will you do when no one is around? Will you continue to do the hard work on your journey of recovery? Or will you choose to fall back into alcoholic/dysfunctional behaviors?
First, I think it’s important that you hug yourself. Shower love on yourself. In your moments of pain and suffering, please, be easy on yourself. The skills that you will need to live a healthy and full life take time to learn. I have been on my journey for nearly thirty years and I still fall. I make mistakes. I come up against times when all seems so dark and I feel lost.
The choice that you’re going to have to make is: Do you have hope and keep going even when you screw up? Or, do you throw in the towel and just give up?
I have had nights where I have gotten on my knees and bowed down to the ground to pray to God for help. I’m not ashamed to say that. I’ve tried to make bargains with God to help me in my deepest pit of despair.
In the end, you are going to be the only person who can rescue yourself. I could rattle off (as I have throughout this book) all the skills that have helped me in my darkest hour. But now, it’s time to think through what helps you. Bad things will happen in your life. How will you handle those times?
When you fall (and we all do), will you get back up?
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