We’re coming to the end of this book and this part of our journey together. I hope that the skills, topics, and stories that I have shared with you are helpful to you for your journey of self-discovery.
Today I want to talk about habits. As a child, I grew up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional family. The behaviors that I saw around me affected me in how I interacted with other people, but created a cycle of dysfunction. I emulated the learned behavior and repeated that in my own relationships.
The twelve steps, mindfulness, affirmations, visualizations, meditation, and therapy are all skills that we can use to create new habits.
My first counselor taught me that our habits are like grooves on a record. We get stuck in our familiar behaviors and patterns—even if they are dysfunctional.
To move forward and grow, I challenge you to create new habits. How? First, I would recommend that you take the time to learn more about what habits are and how our brains work by picking up a copy of Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Duhigg’s book is a great tool to take the emotion out of what we know about habits and learn about how our brains work.
From there, you will then be able to take the skills and techniques that I’ve shared in this book to help you create a better tomorrow for yourself.
Creating new habits that stick typically takes two or more weeks. Depending on what the new habit is, the length of time can be even longer. The challenge is that all of this takes work. Just like making a New Year’s resolution to go to the gym, making changes takes time and a strategy.
I’m a big proponent of small changes over time. When I trained for my first marathon, the training took months. Each Sunday, I would make my long run one mile longer until I hit my goal. Simiarly, with making behavioral changes, one doesn’t simply wake up and become a new person.
We need to spend time on self-discovery, reflection, and then build the toolset to help us. For me, writing, running, meditation, and the twelve steps are what works for me. I weave these activities into each day so that I can build a better life for myself.
When I started on my journey, I had no idea where to start or how.
You might be wondering the same thing.
For today, take time to make one small step forward. Do you want to write in a journal? Focus on positive affirmations? Read and reflect on the twelve steps of Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous or try your hand at guided meditation for 20 minutes?
The choice is yours. Start small, keep up the new habit each day, and modify and expand as needed.
I know that you can do it but do you?
Like what you’ve read? Be sure to check out my other posts in my Let Go and Be Free blog.